Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion’s compendium of all things known.
Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information — such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one’s self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or “pail.” With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.
I may receive a small commission for each sale. But it’s a great book, and something needs to pay for this website
A small child wakes up and attempts to locate his father for nearly 2 hours; Not the most entertaining film, but the perfect solution for chronic insomniacs.
God built a giant rock to carry His greatest creation through outer space, but his flawed design mirrors the engineering aptitude of a five-year-old with a broken crayon.
New Year’s Resolutions: When millions of procrastinators delude themselves into believing they will change, instead of pre-emptively resisting the seductive box of Krispy Kreme Donuts.
Alas, football! When millions of potato-shaped Americans enthusiastically plop on over-strained sofas bearing the weight of wrinkled obesity, slap on their favorite jersey stained with loose droplets of dried-up buffalo sauce,
